31 Days

So apparently I woke up inspired today. Maybe it’s the cooler weather. Maybe it was the fact that as I looked at my horascope it said that my “dream job is within reach.” I put no stock in horacopes but if the stars say my dream job is within reach. I’ll take it at the moment. My real inspiration was the challenge of all of these bloggers to blog for the 31 days of October. I looked at the calendar and saw that October weekends are pretty packed. Packed with friends, food, football, family and activity! I also thought that by October’s end Jarrod and Nicole will have welcomed “munchkin” into the world.
I’ll be honest. Yesterday I wallowed a little bit. I was down. Change is good, but it’s scary. Frankly the change of losing a job is truly terrifiying, but I can choose to be teriffied or I can choose to see it as a chance to embrace change. So what are my goals for the next 31 days?
Obviously at the top of the list is to find a job! I want to strengthen my relationships. I want to do something with that corner by the breckfast bar! It’s empty and it drives me nuts! I would like to have my Christmas shopping done and wrapped!
That is all for now. I’ll add to this as the days go on. Now, I am off to enjoy this day!

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The Reluctant Entertainer

I stumbled upon this blog today.  The Reluctant Entertainer www.reluctantentertainer.com. I love this! I am totally dowloading her book onto my Nook when I get home!  I know few people would descibe me as a reluctant entertainer. However, lately I haven’t felt the spark that I normally do. I find this extremly frustrating. I’m not a wall flower by any means, so why do I feel like this? I think it’s just a continuation of my blah feeling as of late. I can’t even find anything that I want to watch on TV! I mean seriously the Gilmore Girls are barly holding my attention! I most definatly have a huge case of the winter blahs! Before ya’ll tell me I live in the south. This I know, but it still gets dark early and it’s cold and it’s wet and kinda yuck. Anyway I digress.

So I’ve spent some time today thinking about my case of the blahs. What do you do? I was reminded of a Compass phrase “Get up, Get dressed, get out!” So for me, I’m gonna get out, I’m gonna entertain. I’m gonna cook. I’m gonna bake. I’m going to enjoy Mardi Gras. I’m going to enjoy life.

I seems to have really wound around from the really great blog I found. Oh! Well if you were inside my head it might make complete sense.

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Daisy’s, bloody noses, and lessons learned

I’ve been down lately. I’ve been frustrated. This morning I was talking to my mom. She told me a story that I’ve heard a few times in my life.
She told me the story of a little 5 year old girl, with pigtails and daisys in her hair. Little jeans and little saddle shoes. Well this little girl got in trouble. You see I punched Jess Stuver (name has not been changed to protect the gulilty) in the nose. Bloodying and breaking his nose. Parents were called. A meeting was held. No one could figure out why I had done this and I wasn’t talking. Finally my mom showed up and sat down with me, the teacher, and Jesse’s mom. My mom asked why I punched him in the nose. I said because he said something mean. The teacher asked what he had said. Mom says I just shook my head as tears welled up in my eyes. Mom said it’s okay just tell us. I said well he said “I don’t have a family anymore because Daddy died. I told him I did so have a family I still have a mama, grandma and a grandpa. He told me I was wrong and if I didn’t have a daddy anymore then I didn’t have a family. He’s wrong and I punched him in the nose.” My mom says her and the teacher sat in stunned silence. The teacher trying hard not to cry. Then the teacher said we really shouldn’t hit people and I was sent home with my mama. Years later my mom told me this story and she said I was so proud of you that day. She said that was the moment when I decided that I wasn’t going to let what had happened to us define me. She said it was also the moment that she realized that her little girl was going to be okay.
I asked her why she felt the need to tell me this story again today. She said it’s my reminder to you that you are so much stronger than you think. That your past does not need to define you. You need to learn from it, but don’t let it define you.

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Late packages and Christmas Sacks

I’ve had my moments. I’ve freaked out about Christmas not being perfect. My Christmas spirt or my fa la la la as Molly calls it has been a roller coaster. I’ve gone from elf boots and a santa hat to buh humbug sometimes in a matter of hours.
All in all though I think I’ve found my Christmas peace. I’ve mailed a few packages later than I would have liked, but it’s fine. There are no matching monogramed stockings on a fancy holder. It’s okay.
There are cookies that have been baked. There presents under the tree. The puppy is wearing a Christmas coller. The house is decorated. There is a possibility of matching Christmas pajamas. (I think it’s a fantastic idea.) There is a talking snowman in the bathroom.
I have no idea what we are eating Christmas day. I should really get on that.
I have had so much fun already. I’ve been to two fantastic cookie exchanges. I have enjoyed my friend Linda’s 12 Christmas trees! Yes, 12 trees! She’s been decorating forever and they are amazing!
I have watched my good friend welcome her husband home after over 10 months.
I have been blessed with fantastic people in my life. I am loved by a fantastic man. I have gained two little boys who I adore.

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“It was in a barn”

This morning I opened up facebook and was greeted with a fantastic reminder from my friend Sally. ”I am trying hard to remember this holiday season that the most beutiful Christmas was in a barn and not pottery barn.”

I needed this reminder as I continue the hunt for the “perfect:” stockings. I tend to struggle all year long to supress my inner “Martha”, but at Christmas it is so hard. I want the cookies to look like they came out of a magazine. I want the tree to be photograh worthey. (Which it is so not)

At the end of the season. It’s that you enjoyed it. Not that the stockings matched. Not that the cookies were perfect. Not that you had the perfect photo. That you gave the best gifts. It’s that you enjoyed the season. That you celebrated with those you love.

That you remember that the first Christmas was in a barn. With sheep, cows, camels and a host of other critters. There was no snow. No Christmas tree. There was a baby in a manger. That is why we celebrate.

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Journal Your Christmas

I joined this online class, created by this incredibly talented woman in England. For me I don’t see this as being a journal project, more of a scrapbook, photo project. I currently have visons of lime, green and red polka dots dancing in my head. So today started my project. She started the class with a Christmas Manifesto. Not sure how I feel about the terminology, but the sentiment is lovely!
” Appreciate sparkle, indulge in sweetness. Rekindle the magic. Write real Christmas cards. Sing songs, share stories. Trim the tree. Help others without being asked. Cherish family and friends. Make things by hand. Say thank you often. Believe in miracles. Find peace. Celebrate Joy. Remember.”

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Lately I have been feeling…shall we say a little fluffy. Now I made my peace with the scale a long time ago. It’s not about the number on the scale but about how my clothes fit and how I feel about me. Recently a lot of my healthy habits have gone out the window. So this added to the fact that I feel a little out of sync with my life has made me once again feel the need to put feet to pavement and run.

There is something about being up when the rest of the world is still sleeping. The quiet of the dawn. I find my peace here. I find my center. My ability to deal with the rest of the world once they wake up is improved.

This morning I did something I have not done in months. I went and ran on the beach right as the sun was coming up. There is no moment in my day that will compare to that. Toes digging into the sand as the sun rises over the Gulf. Amazing! Yes, I know I shouldn’t run in bare feet. It’s not good for me, but I think it’s okay once in a while when you aren’t trying to crank out the miles but more enjoy the moment.

I don’t need a plan to get rid of the fluff.  I know what to do. I just have to do it. So tomorrow morning I will again get up at the buttcrack of day. Lace up my running shoes and put feet to pavement. I’m going to quit eating crap. I’m still gonna drink my diet coke, just not as much. Come on a girl can’t give up everything:)

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